Obituaries

Ella Pine
B: 1948-04-18
D: 2018-06-19
View Details
Pine, Ella
Odie Mangram
B: 1930-07-11
D: 2018-06-15
View Details
Mangram, Odie
Dana Davis
D: 2018-06-13
View Details
Davis, Dana
Ronald Lewis
D: 2018-06-12
View Details
Lewis, Ronald
Randolph, Jr. Jeffery
B: 1977-01-08
D: 2018-06-10
View Details
Jeffery, Randolph, Jr.
CHERYL FOREMAN
B: 1961-11-04
D: 2018-06-06
View Details
FOREMAN, CHERYL
VERA FORD
B: 1939-01-14
D: 2018-06-06
View Details
FORD, VERA
James Davis
B: 1950-10-17
D: 2018-05-31
View Details
Davis, James
Theodore Anderson
B: 1932-09-07
D: 2018-05-30
View Details
Anderson, Theodore
The Honorable John Sandoz, Judge Los Angeles Superior Court
B: 1933-08-06
D: 2018-05-21
View Details
Sandoz, Judge Los Angeles Superior Court, The Honorable John
Nadine Foster
B: 1930-06-17
D: 2018-05-13
View Details
Foster, Nadine
EMMA GILLIS
B: 1925-10-04
D: 2018-05-07
View Details
GILLIS, EMMA
SHAREEF RAHMAN
B: 1943-11-20
D: 2018-05-04
View Details
RAHMAN, SHAREEF
JACK NADELLE
B: 1951-01-16
D: 2018-04-30
View Details
NADELLE, JACK
ARDELIA HENDRIX
B: 1921-05-28
D: 2018-04-24
View Details
HENDRIX, ARDELIA
OLLIETTA MOORE
B: 1944-06-17
D: 2018-04-22
View Details
MOORE, OLLIETTA
GRANT MCGRUDER
B: 1931-01-02
D: 2018-04-17
View Details
MCGRUDER, GRANT
Chad Matthews
B: 1971-02-10
D: 2018-04-13
View Details
Matthews, Chad
BARBARA BROWN
B: 1923-07-29
D: 2018-04-09
View Details
BROWN, BARBARA
Mayme Braxton
B: 1941-07-13
D: 2018-04-03
View Details
Braxton, Mayme
RICHARD GARNER
B: 1988-04-05
D: 2018-04-01
View Details
GARNER, RICHARD

Search

Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries
1455 N. Fair Oaks Avenue
Pasadena, CA 91103
Phone: 626-798-8941
Fax: 626-798-0195

Say Thank You

Last week my 5 year old grandson, Terrell, accompanied me to the doctor.  A nurse gave him some candy and upon receiving it, he grinned from ear to ear.  I waited an acceptable period of time and then asked “What do you say?”  He finally said “thank you.” Once we were in the car, grandma reminded him that he should always “say thank you” when someone gives him something.  When we lose a loved one, we have a number of opportunities to express our gratitude for the things friends and family do for us. There are opportunities on the printed program, during the funeral ceremony, and after the service in the form of a thank you card. 

The written program for the traditional African-American funeral service often includes a picture, an order of service, and obituary, a list of pallbearers and an acknowledgement or statement of gratitude.  This is a general statement from the family that expresses appreciation “for all acts of kindness shown during their time of bereavement.”  Various wording is used, but the bottom line is that the family acknowledges and says thank you for anything that someone may have done for them in support: prepared a dish/meal, given them flowers, served as a pallbearer, donated towards the service, etc… 

The “order of service” often includes “Acknowledgement of Condolences.”  A family member or friend is asked to publicly acknowledge those who gave of themselves through thought or deed, to assist and support the family.   On behalf of the family a general acknowledgement is made, because there is not enough time in the ceremony to thank everyone individually for their kind deeds.  Often there is also a statement made such as “all acts of kindness will be acknowledged at a later date.” 

As is customary upon receiving most gifts, sending a thank you card is appropriate after the funeral service. This thank you card can be generic, thanking all for what they may have done, or it can be more specific, with a personalized note expressing appreciation for what you received.  An example of a popular generic expression is:

Perhaps you sent a lovely card,

Or sat quietly in a chair.

Perhaps you sent a floral piece,

If so we saw it there.

Perhaps you spoke the kindest words,

As any friend could say:

Perhaps you were not there at all,

Just thought of us that day.

Whatever you did to console our hearts,

We thank you so much

Whatever the part.

(Author unknown) 

In my opinion, thank you cards should be sent in an acceptable or reasonable period of time, such as 1-4 months.  Those you plan to send cards to, know that you have experienced a tremendous loss and will be patient. But people do want to know that you  received their gift. If you are having a difficult time getting thank you cards done, it is appropriate to ask a family member or friend to help you. Your Funeral Director should have a selection of specialized cards, just for this purpose.  

Sometimes people say “thank you” and feel that that is enough. Other people feel that “thank you” verbally or in the form of a card, isn’t quite enough and want to gift a person for their participation or support. There are a variety ways to “say thank you.” Whatever means you choose is appropriate, as long as it clearly communicates your heartfelt appreciation.


Gail Valentine Taylor, M.S.W.

Funeral Director

Woods-Valentine Mortuary

(626) 798-8941

gailt@woodsvalentinemortuary.com

52 Weeks of Support

It's hard to know what to say when someone experiences loss. Our free weekly newsletter provides insights, quotes and messages on how to help during the first year.